Written by Chris Ebberwein, Ph.D.
Anxiety seems to be on the rise, and it can have a particular impact on young people. Anxiety shows up for different reasons, but a common one goes something like this:
I have a problem and I don’t think I have what it takes to solve it.
As a parent, we often try to strike the balance between letting our kids figure out things on their own and solving their problems for them.
Obviously, different problems require different levels of involvement, but a general and consistent effort to this problem would be coaching kids to notice what they are capable of.
Take every opportunity to notice out loud the strengths your child shows, the skills they use, the problems they solve.
For example, with some bit of technology, you could say, “Show me how you did that.”
If they have a relationship matter come up with a friend or teacher, you could say, “That’s a tough one, but I’ve noticed you’re good at seeing both sides of a problem, so I’ll bet you’ll be able to handle it.”
Finally, ask for their help or expertise on things around the house or in the kitchen. All of these efforts will send the message, “You’re capable. You have strengths.”
That’s just the kind of message that will help them face stressful situations before those stressors turn to anxiety.
Chris Ebberwein is a practicing psychologist in the Diocese of Wichita and a loving husband and father of 5 children. He, and his family are parishioners of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, Wichita.
Check out the Parenting Resources page and mark your calendars to attend the 1st-Annual Parenting Seminar with National speaker and author, Kelsey Skoch, on Saturday, November 9th, 2024, 6:30 – 9 pm at the Church of the Resurrection.
